Echoes of Angels
by pampongchamp
Summary: Mary has found herself the perfect guy. But it will take an old flame to help her discover that he is only a cover up for her dark past
1. Everything You Want

A/N: hello my loyal readers! Thanks to me running out of allergy medicine and staying up all night I came up with an idea for a new story! Yaay! Aren't you all excited? I know that I am :)

The title of this story is from the song, "Everything you Want" by Vertical Horizon. Im not about to call this a songfic, but lyrics will be used from time to time and in chapter titles...so just letting ya know.

So, I don't wanna give too much away, but just so you aren't confused...it about season 8, everything in the 7th heaven universe is the same (only no Martin, he messes up everything) except in Mary's case. She did go to buffalo...but she didn't see Wilson there, no Ben...no flight attendant job...ok? We all clear? Good...it's story time

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It was a normal Thursday night at the Camden household. Ruthie Camden was sprawled out on her bed amongst books and papers and she was writing furiously in a spiral notebook. The twins, Sam and David were throwing their matchbox cars down the stairs, much to the disdain of their mother Annie who was busy trying to get dinner finished before her company arrived Reverend Eric Camden was pacing around his office trying to finish up his sermon for Sunday morning. In the small apartment located above the Camden garage, a pencil was tapping against a pad of paper as Lucy Kinkirk attempted to study while she anxiously awaiting her husband's return.

Upstairs, Mary, the second oldest and far from favorite Camden, threw her hair clip down on the dresser and her blonde hair fell messily over her face and shoulders. She sighed; her hair simply wasn't doing anything she wanted it to. Of course, the one night she needed to look nice is just wouldn't cooperate. She grabbed a front section in her hair and quickly clipped it back; the mid-afternoon sun that was streaming through her window caught the shiny object on her finger and bounced off the mirror into her eyes. She dropped her hair and held out her left hand. She was still trying to get used to the big diamond that now adorned her ring finger.

Marriage. The entire idea of it scared her so bad that she tried not to think about it as much as possible. But it was hard, especially in her family. Everyone talked constantly about wedding plans, honeymoon spots, and kids. All Mary wanted was to be married and be done with it. But seeing as her wedding was still 7 months away, she was just going to have to suck it up.

When the doorbell rang downstairs Mary chose to leave her hair as it was and get up to answer the door. On her way to the stairs she smoothed out her blouse and made sure that her skirt was on straight. When she reached the top of the steps she saw her mother excitedly rushing for the door, she flung it open and squealed.

"Hey Annie" a man's voice said as he wrapped his arms around his future mother and law.

She giggled and hit him with the dishtowel that was clenched in her fist, "I told you to start calling me mom."

He tilted his head and said charmingly, "you got it mom" he hugged her again

Annie almost blushed, "oh stop it, now come in, make yourself at home" she said making her way back to the kitchen

He took off his coat and hung it on the coat rack, and then turned to see Mary at the top of the stairs, his face lit up, "hey beautiful"

She smiled coyly, "hi honey, how are you?" she walked down the stairs to greet him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

Their greeting was interrupted by Annie's voice in the kitchen, "Carter! Will you come help me set the table?"

He looked down at Mary, "duty calls" he said as he headed for the kitchen

"Mary!" Annie called, "would you go wash your brothers up for dinner?"

"Sure mom!" Mary answered as she went back up the stairs.

After she had struggled to get Sam and David clean she went to Matt's old room, where she had been staying for almost 4 months. She was changing out of her skirt into jeans since she was now completely soaked. Her clothes were still in boxes on the closet floor. She never bothered to unpack; she didn't want to admit to herself that she had come running home. She tried to convince herself that it wasn't permanent, she was only visiting and she'd be back on her feet in no time.

When she had changed Mary started to make her way downstairs where she met Ruthie in the hall.

"I take it from all the ruckus downstairs that Carter is here" Ruthie said

"Yeah, he just got here a few minutes ago" Mary told her

"You know Mary" Ruthie began in an extremely Ruthie manner, "you're really really lucky to have such a great boyfriend, well fiancée. He takes such great care of you, plus he's nice, and funny. Mom and Dad couldn't be happier. And it doesn't really hurt that I like him too."

As she watched her sister walk ahead of her and down the stairs her heart sank for a second. She couldn't figure out why though, why wasn't she as happy as she should be? I mean after all, he was perfect…everything was perfect…

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you that you wish you could be

He says all the right things at exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you and you don't know why…

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What do you think so far? I would absolutely love to know!!


	2. All the Right Things

A/N: hi peeple, thanks as always for wonderful reviews, they always brighten my day. Enough talking from me, on with the story

Disclaimer: I do not own 7th Heaven or any of it's characters

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"Mary!"

The voice of her mother roused Mary from her nightmare. The same one she'd been having for almost a month. She had hoped coming home would ease her mind a little, but it was to no avail.

"Mary get up! We're leaving for church in one hour!" Annie yelled from the kitchen

She turned back the covers and climbed out of bed. She went to her suitcase on the floor for something to wear. Everything was wrinkly from being carelessly tossed in suitcases and boxes only days before. Mary decided to venture out in her pajamas for something wear. Luckily, Lucy was in the kitchen and already dressed.

Lucy looked up from her coffee to see her sister standing on the steps wearing a baggy t-shirt and dirty sweatpants. "You aren't wearing that to church are you? I mean I know you haven't been in awhile, but you're supposed to dress nicely."

Mary shrugged off her sister's backhanded comment and asked, "May I borrow something of yours? All my clothes are wrinkly."

Lucy smiled, "sure, come on" Mary followed her out the back door. They walked across the grass to the garage, the water left on the grass from the sprinklers. The cold drops soaked Mary's bare feet and sent shivers all through her. The cold she felt brought back a wave of emotions, the cold tied her to Buffalo. And there was nothing she wanted more than to be away from Buffalo.

When they reached the garage apartment Kevin was in front of the mirror straightening his tie, "morning ladies" he said as he walked past them, stopping to kiss Lucy's forehead before going downstairs. Lucy went to the closet and grabbed a blouse and floral print skirt, then handed them to Mary.

"Can I change in here?" Mary asked pointing to the small bathroom

"Sure, go ahead" once Mary was inside Lucy asked, "ok Mary, I don't buy for a second that you just decided to come visit out of nowhere. Now don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're here. But why are you here? And don't lie. . .you were never a good liar."

Mary emerged from the bathroom and smiled a fake smile, "Can't I just miss my family?"

Lucy raised an eyebrow, "no, you can't"

"ok fine" she sighed, "I met a guy, there was a messy breakup. Plus, I had no money. I wasn't going to stay with the Colonel, so I came home. Is that a good enough story for you?"

"Yeah I guess so"

"Good" and with that Mary started down the stairs, but Lucy was right on her heels

"So, a guy huh?"

Mary groaned, "I don't wanna talk about it Luce"

"Aww come on please"

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Mary sat in the front pew of GlenOak community church, her sisters on either side of her. She felt so strange and like a stranger in the building that she was practically raised in. her father was in front of her, and her neighbors and family she'd known her whole life were all around her.

But she had never felt more alone.

The next thing she knew her father had said the last "amen" and the organ began to play. Everyone got up and headed for the door, they went outside and spread around the building to greet one another.

Outside Annie and Lucy were trying to round up the twins, when they had finally gotten them in one concentrated area Annie asked, "Mary, could you please go ask your father if he is coming home with us or if we can pick him up later?"

Mary walked up to the front door of the church where Reverend Camden was busily shaking hands and trading smiles with his congregation. She walked up and stood next to him, waiting for his next available moment.

He turned to find Mary standing next to him and said, "Oh Mary, I want you to meet someone."

He turned towards the young man he had been visiting with. Mary glanced over to meet the brightest blue eyes she'd ever seen. They belonged to a tall, handsome man of about twenty-two. He had light brown hair with a slight wave, and a gorgeous, bright smile.

"Mary," her father continued, "this is Carter Beauman. Carter, this is my oldest daughter Mary, she's visiting us from Buffalo." He smiled and hugged her

Mary smiled shyly at Carter, "Nice to meet you"

"Likewise" he smiled, then turned his attention to Eric, "well, I'm off Reverend, great sermon, and I'll see you next Sunday." He flashed one last smile at Mary before he turned toward the parking lot.

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"Mommy! Mommy!" a child's voice echoed, and a baby crying not far off made her head pound harder as Mary walked quickly through the promenade. The infants wailing grew louder and Mary closed her eyes tightly and put fingers to her temples. The next thing she knew she had ran face first into the shoulder of someone coming the opposite way.

"I am so sorry" she said, her eyes on the ground

"No, no don't worry about it" the man said

When Mary raised her eyes from the pavement her embarrassment grew about a hundred times more. "oh my gosh, Carter right?"

"Yeah, and you're Mary. Reverend Camden's daughter."

Mary smiled nervously, but she couldn't help it, he was just so cute. "I'm sorry for running into you like that, I'm a little scatter-brained right now and I wasn't-"

"It's not a big deal I promise" he assured her sweetly

"Ok, well I guess I'll see you at church on Sunday" Mary said as she started to walk away

"Hey Mary…" he began, and she turned around, "are you doing anything like, right now?"

She tried to hide the giddy smile that was forming on her lips, "uh, no, no I'm not"

"You wanna, maybe get a coffee or something?"

She couldn't hold it in anymore, "yeah!" she said over-excitedly, and then quickly recovered, "yes, that would be lovely thank you"

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"And I'm so glad she wasn't looking where she was going" Carter smiled and kissed Mary's cheek

The wedding planner across the desk beamed, "that is so adorable"

"Yeah" Mary smiled, slightly embarrassed. He told this story to everyone, but she was pretty sure that he wouldn't brag so much if he knew what she had been thinking about instead of watching where she was going.

But every couple has their secrets right?

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no time for long notes and things…so just review please!!


	3. Echoes of Angels

A/N: today in English they handed out essays that we wrote last year for standardized testing, and I read through mine, which I had written about Mary and Wilson (and got a perfect score on, hehe) and I remembered how much I really really love writing. So I'm updating, just because I miss it…lucky you

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Mary slipped off her blue terrycloth robe and it pooled at her bare feet on the rug. She slowly approached the bathtub. She leaned over to peer at the water; it was so still it looked like glass. She had filled it more than an hour ago, she'd been debating whether or not to go through with it. She lifted her foot and placed it into the icy water, the ripples started small and spread to the edges of the tub. She quickly put the rest of her body in before she could change her mind. When her whole body was in, she sank down slowly until only her face was touching the air.

"Ok Mary, you can do this…you deserve this" she assured herself as she let her head sink to the bottom. The sound of her skull hitting the hard bottom echoed loudly through the water. She stared up at her reflection that was forming above her face. It was strange being on the other side, but she honestly felt better there than she did in the air, she didn't belong in this world, and that's why she was leaving.

Slowly she started to slip, her body was aching for oxygen but her strong will kept her under. Instinctively she quickly gasped for air and her lungs filled with water. She smiled wickedly, knowing how close it was to the end. Suddenly a hand shot through the water and pulled her to the surface.

Mary quickly choked for air as she found herself sitting up in bed, Carter sitting on the edge in front of her. He smiled and rubbed her back, "you ok hon?"

"Uh, yeah…yeah I uh…I just-just dreamed I was uh, drowning."

"Good thing I came to save you huh?" he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

He got up off the bed and walked to her closet, she tried her best to collect her wits, "yeah, good thing"

He began to talk about how her mom wanted her to go by the flower shop to check if she liked the arrangements. He was taking a sweater out of the closet and tossing it on her bed while he went off about something cute the twins had said, but she didn't hear him. She was too busy wondering if she'd ever escape her nightmares…escape her memories.

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Mary leaned sleepily against the florists counter, the girl working there was droning on about color schemes and growing seasons. Mary wasn't listening, she was just not in the mood. She finally told the plump blonde in the tacky green vest that she was fine with whatever her mother picked out. The girl seemed almost shocked by her tone, Mary didn't remember being rude, but her brain was about five zillion miles away. All she wanted was to go over to Carters, put on a pair of his sweatpants and watch TV, but no, she had to do wedding things.

She hustled out of the store and into her car, the one that Carter had given her. It wasn't insanely fancy, just a black sedan, but she appreciated it nonetheless. When he surprised her with it, her parents couldn't have been happier. This shocked Mary more than getting a car for her birthday from her boyfriend, she would've thought that Eric and Annie would think of the gesture as some ridiculous attempt to woo her. But instead, they found it insanely thoughtful and praised him even more. As much as Mary loved Carter, it saddened her that he was the only thing her parents could be proud of that even remotely involved her.

When she sat down in the drivers seat, she noticed her cell phone flashing in the charger. She flipped it open to read, "1 new voicemail" she touched the button to listen to it. After a brief introduction from the robotic operator she heard her mother's voice, "Hi Mary, its me. I'm really busy getting dinner ready, and I know you're already out, so I was wondering if you could pick your brothers up from school. If you can't please let me know so I can go get them. Thank you! Bye"

Mary sighed heavily as she pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the school. She pulled into the line of cars that were surrounding the small school. All the other parents were sitting at their steering wheels reading magazines, or corralling smaller kids that were in the back seat. The sun was shining, and a light breeze was blowing, Mary didn't feel like staying in the car so she promptly got out and walked to the passenger side. She leaned against the car, facing the school, and waited for the twins.

All at once, the doors opened and dozens and dozens of kids came pouring out the doors and down the steps. She watched them, not really looking for the twins, but just observing them, and their innocence. Little girls giggled as they skipped to catch their bus, the boys whipped each other with their backpacks while their teachers scolded them from the doorways.

"Mary!" she heard called from across the lawn. She looked around for her brothers, when she realized that the voice she heard wasn't either of them. She heard her name called again, and she looked to her left to see a little brunette boy waving to her from the playground.

She stared a minute at his bright, smiling face when she realized who she saw.

A big smile came to her face, "Billy?"

She waved back and he jumped down from the slide. His large blue backpack bounced against his back as he sprinted towards her. She laughed as she scooped him up into her arms; he was much bigger than she remembered. She set him down on the sidewalk, "hi sweetie, how are you?"

He grinned, a few of his teeth were missing, and he'd grown up quite a bit, "I'm good, I'm in Second grade now." He said proudly.

"Oh my gosh! You are so grown up," she laughed

"I know, my daddy tells me that all the time."

When he said those words Wilson came to Mary's mind for the first time in years. Picturing his face gave her a feeling that she didn't understand, and she desperately wanted to push aside.

"He'll be here to get me soon, I bet he'll want to see you" Billy told her

Mary quickly dismissed his idea, "oh no, I have to find my brothers and go home."

"But we haven't seen you in so long Mary! We miss you," he pleaded sweetly

Mary spotted Sam and David coming towards the car, "maybe some other time, I have to go now." She bent down to hug him, "bye Billy"

"Bye Mary" he smiled at her, with a glint of disappointment in his face.

Mary tried to process what all this was going to mean for her as she opened the door for her brothers and watched a shadow from her past walk sadly towards the swings.

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hehe yay! I love to write! Im so mondo inspired right now….eeekk

ok, review


	4. The Places Where You Might Have Turned

A/N: I don't have much to say, but I really hope all of you are enjoying this story…trust me, theres a lot more to come…

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"I love you!" she shouted in angry desperation, "I have since I was a little girl!" 

He turned towards her, and stepped right up to her. He took her face in his hands, "I love you too" he kissed her passionately and the camera panned away to reveal a beautiful sunset behind them. The credits began rolling and a cheesy love song played loudly.

Mary took the popcorn bowl off her lap and walked to the kitchen. Carter stood and went to the TV. Mary set the bowl in the sink and heard an anchorman's voice coming from Carter's living room.

"This afternoon on the East side of Glen Oak, the owner of a local bookstore committed suicide in the back room of his store. He was found by a teenager that worked- "

Carter quickly changed the channel, "That is really awful isn't it?"

Mary slightly shuddered, "yeah, yeah it is"

"I've never really understood that you know? How someone could take their own life like that?" Carter shook his head and went back to the couch

"I guess some people feel that it's a legitimate escape" Mary said quietly.

"How could you be so upset that you don't want to live anymore?" he said with a slightly cynical tone.

"Well Carter, not everyone has it as easy as you. Life is hard for people and they can't cope ok!" after she spoke, Mary was taken aback by her own tone

Carter noticed how flustered she was and got up to comfort her, "Mary? Are you ok honey?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." She put her hand to her forehead, "I'm just a little tired," she went quickly to the door where her purse was sitting, "I'm going to go home and go to sleep."

"Are-are you sure?" Carter was flustered by Mary's actions, he'd never seen her act like this before, "you can stay here, I rented some other movies, I-I can make you dinner if you want."

"No, no I'm going to go" she kissed him quickly and rushed out the door.

When Mary walked up to the front door of her family's home she was met by her mother, father, brothers, and youngest sister.

"Oh Mary, you're just in time," her mother smiled happily, "we're all going out for pizza. Would you like to join us?"

Mary shook her head, "no thanks mom, I think I'm just going to go on up to bed."

Annie put her hand on her daughter's forehead, "are you feeling alright?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah, just stressed…you guys have fun ok?" she said as she rushed into the house, desperate to avoid any more conversation about her emotional state, or that of her relationship.

Mary went up to her room; she put her purse on the floor and sat on the edge of her bed. With a heavy sigh she quickly threw herself back and landed gently on the comforter with a small bounce. She tried hard to stuff all her wandering thoughts and emotions back into the place in her mind that she'd been hiding them for months. It was too late to let all her craziness out now, too many people thought she was stable, she wasn't going to let them see her fall apart. When she heard her stomach growling through the empty room she suddenly regretted leaving Carter's place, she was a lot hungrier than she had thought before.

She stood up from the bed slowly, took a few deep breaths, and headed downstairs fully confident that her repressed emotions were completely tucked away. She walked into the kitchen, her footsteps reverberating off the walls. Mary couldn't remember a time when the house was ever this quiet. When she thought harder she realized that since she'd gotten home from Buffalo, it wasn't the same place. It wasn't the home she'd grown up in, but a cold, unfriendly place filled with strangers.

After rummaging through the fridge and pantry for something to eat, but she came up unsuccessful. She headed for the cabinet about the phone that housed the phonebooks and takeout menus. While searching through the many papers and books she pulled out the directory to her brothers' elementary school. She picked up the receiver and started to reconsider what she was about to do, but before she could stop herself she flipped to the "W" section on the 2nd grade page and quickly dialed the number.

Fifteen minutes later Mary sat on a barstool at the pool hall, nervously twirling her stool and tapping her chipped red fingernails on the table. She occasionally looked up at the door, but quickly averted her eyes out of nervousness. A million reasons as to why she shouldn't be here, shouldn't be doing this ran through her mind, and just as she was about to just get up and leave she heard her named called by a sweet young voice. She raised her eyes from her purse that was tightly clutched in her left hand to the door. Billy was scampering quickly down the steps to where Mary was sitting, but all she saw was him.

Wilson West was standing at he top of the stairs, his hand resting on the railing of the stairs. He was smiling his same sweet smile, his hair was longer, but he was still the handsome young man she fell for as a teenager. Mary suddenly recalled the last time she'd seen Wilson he was right where he was standing now, but his back was to her. She would never forget the look on his face as he carried a sleeping Billy out of the pool hall. That night he had told her he was willing to change the course of his entire future for her, and she shot him down. Their last few words to each other rang in her ears,

_"What do you want me to do?"_

_"I want you to stop asking me that and decide for yourself"_

She was torn from her thoughts when a pair of small arms wrapped around her knees. She collected herself quickly and bent down to hug Billy, she squeezed him tightly and when she stood and looked up, her eyes met with Wilson's. She felt her stomach jump in a way that delighted her, and terrified her at the same time.

She grinned and hugged him, "It's so good to see you Wilson"

"Good to see you too Mare"

Hearing her old nickname made her smile even wider. She kept her arms tightly wrapped around his strong shoulders for longer than what might have been considered acceptable for two old friends, but something made her want to hold on to him for dear life.

The threesome spent the next hour eating pizza and listening to Billy yammering on and on about everything that had gone on in his little lifetime since Mary had last seen him. Watching him talk was so entertaining; he was just like Wilson, in a smaller body.

Wilson looked up from his son to see Mary across the table, intently watching his son tell a story about his friend Connor who had gotten a hot wheel tire stuck up his nose. She was smiling and nodding her head, but her eyes, they seemed so distant, detached from the whole conversation.

As soon as Billy had finished the gruesome details of his little anecdote Wilson handed him a stack of quarters and instructed him to go play video games. Billy sighed and climbed down from the barstool and shuffled off towards the arcade.

"Wow, I've never seen a kid so disappointed to get to play video games" Mary laughed

"What can I say, the kid loves to talk" Wilson looked right into her eyes, his tone changing suddenly, "so Mary, tell me about you. How have you been these past, um, three years, I guess" he was only pretending to not know how long it had been since they had spoken. He remembered it very clearly; she'd broken his heart that night, who could forget something like that?

Mary sighed, "I can't say things were wonderful the rest of high school," she went on to explain her now infamous gym incident, the drinking, the stealing, and her eventual shipping off to Buffalo.

Wilson just kind of stared at her, shocked that little Mary Camden was capable of so much. But he remembered her fiery spirit, how she always did what Mary wanted, and it suddenly wasn't shocking anymore. He laughed a little, "wow, I hope it gets better…it gets better right?"

"Yeah," Mary smiled on the outside, but on the inside, her stomach was in knots recalling Buffalo and all the horrible memories that still crept up on her every now and then. She shook away her uneasiness and held up her left hand, "I'm getting married in a few months, his name is Carter."

"Congratulations Mare" Wilson smiled, and to his surprise he found himself jealous of this Carter guy. After all, at one time in his life, he thought he was the one that would be granted the privilege of marrying Mary Camden.

They continued to talk for a while, about Wilson, his job, his family. They laughed for a long time about the old times, fondly remembering how much they used to mean to each other…but that was a long time ago. Wilson looked behind him to see Billy standing at the Mortal Combat machine, holding the joystick with one hand, and rubbing his eyes sleepily with the other.

"Well, I guess we better get out of here." Wilson said

Mary turned to pick up her purse when he asked her one more question.

"Mare, are you happy?"

She answered quickly, "of course I'm happy, why wouldn't I be?" she realized that she was trying to convince herself more than him

He smiled, seeing right through her, "of course, why wouldn't you be"

He hugged her and went over to the arcade to scoop up his son. He walked away with Billy waving sleepily over his shoulder. He turned and smiled at her, "give me a call, we'd love to do this again sometime"

She smiled as she watched them walk away from her, just like they'd done 3 years, 4 months, and 6 days before.

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In case no one noticed, the episode that was discussed in this chapter was "It Happened One Night" ahh…those were the good ol days. Stupid big-lipped Jordan just had to ruin everything didn't he?

Review please! I love having feedback from you guys! It really keeps me going


	5. Exactly the Right Time

A/N: I am the worst author ever…I'm sure you all hate me for never ever ever updating my stories, but my wonderful friend, (you all may know her as KayKayeLLe) has written a new story (which you all should read) so I decided I should too…I love you all for being so patient with me :)

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About a week after Mary had seen Wilson at the pool hall she was sitting at her kitchen table with her little brothers who were busy making "dinosaurs" out of purple play-doh. She looked around the kitchen wondering where the rest of her family could be. Usually at this time of night there were people all over the place, family members, friends, people from church. But tonight, there wasn't anyone there but Sam and David.

Mary heard her cell phone ringing upstairs.

"You guys stay right here and promise not to make a mess ok?"

The boys nodded and continued to mash the purple substance into the kitchen table, Mary sprinted up the stairs before she lost who ever was on the other line.

"Hello" she said breathlessly

"Hi baby, what're you up to?"

"Oh not much," she said trying to catch her breath and sitting on the edge of her bed, "what's goin on?"

"I was just wondering…" he said in a suggestive tone, "if maybe you wanted to come over, we can have a nice quiet dinner, and then maybe some time to ourselves"

Mary wanted so badly to just say yes and drive as fast as she could to Carter's place, but she had an obligation to her family, "I'm sorry sweetie, I have to watch the boys right now, I don't know where my family is."

"Ok, that's fine, another night then" he sighed

She started to feel extremely guilty, they hadn't spent much time together lately, "well, maybe I could, you know after everyone's in bed."

"No, its fine honey, don't sneak out in the middle of the night or anything, there will be other nights" he argued

"I'm coming over later Carter, that's final." She hung up the phone and jammed it in her back pocket.

Mary and Carter had what her father might call an "adult relationship" and it had been that way for quite some time. Mary was almost positive her family was aware of this, and it didn't seem to bother them. Which only proved how little the Camdens thought of Mary, Lucy and Kevin wouldn't have ever been able to act the way the Mary and Carter did. The most unfair portion of all this was that Mary still kept a bad name, but Carter was a perfect angel in her family's eyes. And as hard as I was for Mary to admit it, that drove her crazy.

Not two minutes after Mary got back to the kitchen table to find her twin brothers surprisingly mess-free, the house phone rang. Mary tried to get to the phone but Sam was a lot quicker than she was.

"Camden residence" he said like he had carefully practiced with his mother

He held his little hand out with the phone clutched in it towards his sister, "Mary, its for you"

"Thank you Sam" she said, taking the phone and running her fingers through his golden hair

"This is Mary,"

"Hey Mare," the male voice said, "this is Wilson" she didn't need him to tell her that, she knew from the second she heard him say "mare"

"Hey Wilson how are you?" she asked, trying to sound cool. She felt like a little twelve year-old all of the sudden

"I'm actually not doing so well,"

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, what's up?" she said sounding as concerned as possible

"There's a big fancy banquet at work tonight, one of my bosses is retiring, its really important and blah blah. But my babysitter has the flu, and I feel so terrible calling you like this, but I didn't know who else to call and Billy loves you, if you cant I'll complet-"

Mary cut off his ramblings, "Wilson calm down, I would love to watch Billy for you tonight"

"Oh Mare you are really a life saver, I mean it."

"It isn't a problem Wilson, really"

"Could you be here in say, 30 minutes?"

"Yeah, but I will need to know where you live" she laughed

"Wow, sorry, I feel stupid" he nervously chuckled, he then gave her directions and said a quick goodbye. After he hung up he stood a minute by the phone, wondering what power Mary had over him that made him act half his age, and feel so strange…in a good way.

Mary turned from the phone to find her brothers still at the table, and there was still no one to watch them. She ran quickly to the foot of the stairs, "Ruthie!" she called, "are you home?"

"Yes" she heard her call

"Can you come down and watch the twins?" she asked

"I'm doing my homework!" she shouted

"Please? Just until mom gets home," Mary begged

"No! I cant!" Ruthie yelled, followed by a door slam

Mary sighed heavily, hoping it wouldn't come to this. She picked up the phone and dialed quickly, "hi Luce" she smiled, "its your favorite sister"

"What do you want" Lucy said, annoyed

"I need you to watch the twins a little while"

"What, so you can go spend the night with Carter?" she snapped

"No, so I can baby sit for a friend" she snapped back, was this abuse really worth it?

"Fine" Lucy said angrily and quickly hung up

Mary almost squealed as she ran upstairs to grab her purse, when she came back down for her keys Lucy was at the kitchen table with a horribly sour look on her face. Mary knew she couldn't have possibly been that busy.

Mary ran out to her car, directions to Wilson's in her hand. She realized that she wouldn't do anything to spend time with Carter, but shed begged like a child and taken abuse from her sister to help out an ex-boyfriend. But it was ok, because Wilson needed her… wasn't it?

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ugh, I'm upset, a whole chapter of phone conversations, I disappoint myself, I really really do.

Review, and share your disappointment with me


	6. You Wish You Could Be

Mary walked up the cement path to the door of a cute little townhouse. She looked around the small yard; Wilson kept it looking very nice, which didn't surprise her one bit. Wilson always took pride in the things he had, because they were never given to him, like it was with Carter, he had earned every small detail.

She knocked on the door, then stepped back a few feet. When it took awhile for no one to answer, she started to get nervous. Why, Mary wasn't sure, she fidgeted and look all around her impatient for someone to answer. Just as she reached out to try again Wilson flung open the door.

"Hey Mare, come in" he said quickly and rushed into the house as he continued to fumble with his tie. Mary hastily followed him into the house. He went straight down the back hall, leaving Mary standing awkwardly in his living room. She set her purse down on the couch and began to eye the room. White walls, solid blue couches, no pictures, no art, no plants…this was definitely a bachelors pad.

Ready to explore, Mary walked into what looked like it would be the kitchen, only to find Billy sitting at the table eating French fries out of a fast food bag. He turned from the word search on the side of the bag he'd been eyeing and noticed Mary in the doorway.

"Mary!" he shouted, nearly flying out of his chair. He sprinted toward her, big smile, ketchup smeared all over his face.

"Whoa whoa! Wait!" Mary said reaching for a paper towel, "hold it mister" she kneeled down to Billy's height as he came to a screeching halt in front of her. She wiped the ketchup off of his mouth, then stood up to observe him. Billy stayed perfectly still while she surveyed his face. Then she smiled, "ok, you can hug me now"

Billy beamed widely and threw his arms around Mary's waist. She hugged him back and tousled his hair. Wilson had been in the doorway observing this whole scene, his eyes intently on Mary, mesmerized by how beautiful she was.

"I'd forgotten how well you two got along," he said finally, making her jump

"Are you kidding?" Mary smiled, "Me and Billy are best buds!" she laughed and sent Billy back to the table to finish his dinner. Mary looked right at Wilson and her stomach got all jittery, and unbeknownst to her, his did the same. She approached him and reached up to straighten his tie, "there you go," she said quietly

He looked down at her with a sly, Wilson-like grin on his face. She looked down in a flirty way, a smile creeping on her lips. Neither of them were entirely sure what was happening between them, but they wouldn't get to find out, because just then, the doorbell rang.

"Uh, I gotta go get that" Wilson said, back in panicky mode

"Yeah, go, go ahead" Mary hurried back to the living room and sat with her purse on the couch, Billy hopped down from his place at the table and joined Mary. Mary listened carefully for who might be at the door. She heard Wilson talking in a slightly different tone than he usually did; it was his tone of voice for meeting new people, or trying to be impressive. Mary laughed to herself over the fact that she still knew that. Wilson had been such a big part of Mary's teen years. Even when they weren't together, she still thought about him. Every guy she ever dated was compared to him, and come to think of it, no one ever was good enough, not even Carter.

Wilson walked back into the living room, his arm around the waist of the most beautiful girl Mary had ever seen. She had beautiful chestnut brown hair that was perfectly curled and styled around her face; it laid gently on her tan shoulders. Her makeup was flawless, and her little black cocktail dress hugged her perfect body in all the right places.

"Mare," Wilson said, "this is my date, Adria" he smiled proudly and Mary wanted to barf. The way he pronounced her name, "aahhdria" and that fake smile of hers, Mary figured it wasn't the only fake part of her either.

Mary smiled just as falsely and held out her hand, "hi, nice to meet you Adria" she said, purposely mispronouncing her name

Being that she was a female, Adria caught on to Mary's cattiness and shot back, "so you're Mary, Wilson's ex-girlfriend" she put extra emphasis on the "ex" part, still smiling in her gorgeous manner

"Yeah, I am" Mary was trying so hard not to rip every perfect hair out of her perfect head

Wilson noticed the extreme tension in the room, "so, we better go" he said moving toward the door, "Billy, bed by nine, listen to Mary, I love you, bye!"

When the door was shut behind them Mary collapsed on the couch next to Billy. She slunk down until her face was level with his. They both stared at the wall for a minute or two, then Mary turned her face toward his, "Does your daddy bring home girls like that all the time?"

"Yes," Billy sighed

"Have you seen that one before"

"Nope"

"Do you like her?"

"No"

Mary sat back, "Good, me either"

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Around 11:30, Mary was laying on the couch in Wilson's dark living room, watching a quirky romantic comedy with Hugh Grant…or some charming British actor. Mary wasn't really paying attention, she just wanted Wilson to come home. She didn't know if it was because she wanted to go home, or because she wanted to see him.

When Mary heard the key jiggling in the front door she almost leapt up to greet him. But instead she lay coolly, waiting for him to come to her.

Wilson walked slowly into the dark living room, "hey Mare, how'd it go?"

She sat up, "just fine, Billy was perfect, just like I thought he would be"

He put his keys on the kitchen counter and loosened his tie. Mary flipped on the light, and turned off the TV.

"So, where's Aahhdria?" she asked

"I took her home early, I faked a headache, then went back to the party after she was gone."

Mary gasped sarcastically, "You mean, you couldn't hold a conversation with the Barbie doll?"

He threw his tie at her, "I resent that" Mary laughed and continued to pick up some of Billy's toys, "I didn't always have such terrible taste in women you know"

She laughed nervously and scooped some cars into the toy chest. "I really should get home"

"Uh yeah," he followed her to the front door, "thanks for everything tonight Mary"

"No problem" she smiled and reached for the doorknob. It was then that Wilson actually noticed the ring on her finger. The tiny symbol that proved that she belonged to someone else. "Good night Wilson"

"Night Mare" he watched her down the front path, "don't be a stranger!" he called after her

She turned over her shoulder and flashed him her famous smile, and he watched her disappear into the dark, almost as fast as she'd disappeared out of her life.

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I hate this chapter; I've re-written the end about 9 times. I know where I want to go in the story, but I don't know how to get there.

I'm frustrated

Review and calm my fears please


	7. Just Sit Tight

A/N: its been forever…I'm bad, blah blah. I just realized the last line of the last chapter said, "out of her life" should have been "his"…makes more sense now huh?

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Mary fumbled for her keys in the street outside of Wilson's place. She glanced up at the house, thinking of Wilson, and as always burying her emerging feelings back into the deepest parts of her.

She slumped down into the drivers seat, flinging her purse at the opposite door. She slammed her door shut, and slowly the overhead light dimmed. Mary sat still with her hands on the wheel contemplating her next move. All of her instincts told her to get out of the car and go back into the house. To sit down with Wilson a while and enjoy his company. They were both adults who could handle having a nice conversation. But because Mary feared the feelings that might stem from a nice conversation, she picked up her cell phone instead.

"Honey you still awake?" she asked, "Good, I'm on my way"

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In the morning, Mary woke up slowly. That perfect way of waking up after a wonderful nights sleep. It should've been wonderful after Carter had spent most of the night "tiring her out."

When she'd arrived at his place the night before neither of them said a word to each other. He pulled her inside and into the bedroom. Their relationship seemed to be sex-centered more often than not. This factor sometimes caused Mary to doubt the relationship, but she almost always doubted the relationship.

Mary rolled over toward the center of the bed; the sun was shining so brightly through the window she had trouble opening her eyes all the way. She figured that it was close to noon or later. Mary lazily stretched out her arm to the other side of the bed, it hit cold sheets immediately. With her head toward the opposite wall she ran her arm up and down the bed, it was definitely empty. She groaned and turned her head, slowly she rolled onto her back, and while sleepily staring at the ceiling she pulled the tangled sheets over her naked body.

"Good morning beautiful" Carter said, leaning in the doorway. He was wearing a pair of blue striped boxers and had a piece of toast swinging in his right hand. His yellow lab, Brewster, was snapping at it from Carter's side. He approached the bed and sat on his side next to her, he leaned over and kissed her forehead, "you sleep well?" his voice oozed with implication.

She giggled, "Yeah I did"

He leaned on his elbow and held the half eaten toast in her face, "want some?"

Mary shook her head and sat up, "that's ok, really"

He sat up with her, putting his arm around her shoulder, "so where were you so late last night?" he asked

She shrugged, "I just did a favor for an old friend"

The way she shrugged it off implied she was hiding something, and he knew the only way to get it out of her. He reached over and tickled her ribs, "what kind of favor?"

"Just babysitting" she squirmed, trying to suppress her loud laughter

She pried his fingers off of her sides, "oh? And how old is the little baby?" he asked, struggling with her

"Seven" she breathed, finally free of Carter's tickling

"Whoa" Carter looked shocked, "she must've started pretty early"

"Yeah," Mary nodded, not wanting to correct his gender misjudgment. Carter wasn't one to have much of a temper or anything, but she didn't think he'd be happy to know she'd ditched him for another guy. "We've been friends since high school."

"That's nice," he said quietly, quickly trailing off into his own thoughts. Carter sat silently a moment, petting Brewster who had jumped up onto the bed.

He looked at her very lightheartedly, with a hint of seriousness in his voice, "when should we have a baby?"

The words made Mary's stomach sink, immediately her heart began to flutter out of whack. Her leg shook under the covers, she averted his eyes as she shook her head nervously, "I don't know" she folded her arms and tried to breathe, praying Carter wouldn't notice her sudden panicky behavior.

"Right after the wedding, well, maybe a few months after…I think maybe we should try" there was a real enthusiasm in his voice; she could tell he'd been thinking about it for a while.

She tried her hardest to shake off the topic, "Carter, we can't afford a baby, I don't have a job"

"You don't need one!" he laughed, "Dad's company will be mine in at least two years, we'll be set for life"

Mary racked her brain for any excuse, "where will we put a baby in this little apartment?" she tried her best to smile

"Well, I've been living here for years…it was just me and Brewster then. But if we have a family, we could get a house," he put his finger under her chin and turned her face toward his, "any house you want"

She sighed, "I just…don't want kids right now" she laughed inwardly at her pathetic excuse, "I want it to be the two of us for a while ok?"

"We will, I said we can wait a few-"

"Carter!" she cut him off harshly, "just, leave it ok?"

He looked puzzled, Mary was so good with babies, she loved her little brothers and sisters…all of this made no sense, but he smiled at her anyway. "I just don't understand," he mumbled

_"And I doubt you ever will"_ she thought

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A little too short, I make you wait all this time and I give you that…pathetic really. And I really have no idea how old Billy should be by now…I'm getting all off track

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Wanna correct me? Review.


	8. The Places Where You Used To Learn

Mary turned the key and slowly entered their dark apartment. Usually the place would be buzzing by now, but their roommate, Jamie had gone out of town to visit her sister. She slipped off her icy winter coat and threw it over the couch. The keys followed, bouncing softly on the plush beige cushion.

Timidly, she poked her head into the hallway and called his name, it echoed down the empty walls. And just as she feared, there was no response. She tiptoed into the bedroom, the bed wasn't made, as always. She kicked her shoes off near it's edge and sat down on the old, creaky mattress. She glanced over at the night table; his keys and cigarettes were gone.

Yeah, he was a smoker. That was one of the first things that attracted Mary to him. He had tattoos and a couple piercings. He was everything her parents hated. The Colonel had forced her to get a job somewhere, and the only place that took her was your everyday American corner store. She had to wear an ugly blue smock and card teenage kids trying to buy beer. On her way home one afternoon she caught a glimpse of him. He was standing out on the sidewalk, leaning against a wall, cigarette in hand. His hair was dark, like his eyes, and he had one of those scruffy pseudo-beards. He wore a leather jacket, with a gray hooded sweatshirt underneath, and she saw a tattoo creeping up his neck from under his collar. His jeans were a little tight, and he had rips in his high top sneakers. For some reason he made her heart do back flips. Maybe it was because he was everything she had been raised to stay away from, or maybe it was because he was downright sexy. No matter what it was, she pretended to bump into him. And after too many drinks and a crazy romp between the sheets, they were living together.

She dialed the phone, she almost didn't know why she bothered, and she knew exactly what he would say. She made this very call almost every night. The torturous nature of it all made Mary question her sanity.

"Hello" he sounded too happy, kind of rushed, like he was covering up what he had been doing before he even answered the phone.

"Hey, where are you?" she asked nonchalantly, a fake smile broad across her face

"I just have to finish up some things here," he explained

"Oh, ok…" she started to cower, "I just thought we could have some alone time, since Jamie isn't here"

"We will baby," he coaxed her, "I promise we will ok? I'll be home soon"

"Bye" she whispered into the receiver

He was cheating. There was no doubt in her mind, and there hadn't been for months. But she couldn't let go. No, she wouldn't let go. He was all she had and he was going to stay no matter what…she would make him stay.

Mary laid in bed at 9:45, he still wasn't back yet. She only had about 15 more minutes to decide whether or not she was going to do it. She came up with her plan a week before, when the other woman started calling their place. She didn't even really care that he was with someone else, she just needed him to stay. So when the clock turned to ten, she pretended to forget, and waited anxiously for him to walk in the door.

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Mary and Lucy pulled the last box out of the small closet. They had spent the entire day packing and unpacking everything Mary was going to take to Carter's. The wedding was in two weeks, and she wasn't even close to finishing all she had to do, which is why she enlisted Lucy for some free labor.

Lucy tore the tape off of the box and dust flew into the air. She opened it and started pulling out random items like books and papers, Mary stayed back. The whole box smelled like Buffalo and it was making her sick to her stomach. Lucy flipped through a huge stack of pictures, some old ones of the family, pictures their Mom and Dad had mailed to Mary while she was away. Toward the bottom of the stack was a Polaroid of a guy with a scruffy face with his arm slung over a bleach-blonde girl, he was kissing her on the cheek, and she was smiling widely.

"Who's the guy Mare?" Lucy asked

Mary didn't even need to look at the picture to know, "that's the guy"

"The reason you left guy?" she pried

Mary just shook her head as Lucy examined the picture further

"You guys look really happy" she pointed out

"We were" she sighed

"What happened?" Lucy asked carefully, noticing her sister's somber behavior

Mary laughed quietly, and said in a lighthearted, yet eerie tone, "oh you know me, always messing everything up"

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A/N I'm so awful, this chapter gave you no information whatsoever…If you haven't noticed I'm trying to be mysterious about what happened to Mary in Buffalo instead of just saying it…all the clues are there if you look carefully.

: laughs maniacally :

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Am I coming off mysterious? Or just melodramatic? Review and let me know


	9. Watch It Unwind

A/N: on Christmas Eve, I stayed up way too late, maybe I was just too excited for Santa to come, but nonetheless I read all my old stories and some of my friend's stories, and I remembered how much fun this couple is, and I got about a million new ideas that I think will really bring this story to life…so, you should all just be super excited. I know I am.

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Mary stepped out of the car into a warm spring afternoon; a slight breeze blew her hair in every direction. She swept it to the side with one hand while walking toward the mass of children huddled on the sidewalk.

She smiled at Wilson from across the parking lot; he looked up from the kids tugging at his arms and smiled back. It had been months since Mary had babysat Billy, and her and Wilson were becoming wonderful friends. The sexual tension between them seemed almost unbearable, but they got through it and managed a normal friendship somehow.

She stood at his side while all the kids shoved each other to get in line for the school bus that was pulling into the lot. She folded her arms, looking straight ahead through dark sunglasses, "you owe me so big" she told him

"I know" he sighed, "I'm sorry, I had to come up with something, I mean look at her" he motioned to the young teacher, counting the kids as the filed onto the bus.

Billy's class was taking a field trip to the zoo. When Billy's teacher, Miss Coble, asked Wilson to chaperone, he gladly agreed. When she asked him later if he could find another chaperone last minute…he agreed to that too.

Wilson and Mary were the last ones to walk up to the bus, Miss Coble smiled warmly at Wilson, "thank you so much for helping out Mr. West."

He smiled charmingly, "Please Kristen, call me Wilson"

Mary thought she was going to be sick.

Miss Coble looked at Mary, "thank you for filling in on such short notice"

Mary just shook her head, "oh, it's not a problem"

"I'm so sorry I didn't introduce you yet" Wilson corrected himself, "Kristen, this is Mary…my," he paused a moment, "well, she's just my Mary"

She smiled and ushered them onto the bus, there was a seat saved for the two of them toward the back. When they sat down, Mary finally released her long suppressed laughter.

"Your Mary?" she giggled

"I didn't know what to say!" he defended himself, "I couldn't say, my old high school girlfriend and newly rekindled friend Mary could I?"

This only caused her laugher to grow, she tried to settle into the seat, but Wilson's broad shoulders were hogging all the room in the small seat. She groaned, "I haven't been on a school bus in like, six or seven years!"

Wilson hung his head, "I really am sorry I made you come here"

She placed her hand on his leg, "no really, it's fine," she smiled, "I'm really happy to not have to think about wedding things"

When she finished her sentence, she realized where she had placed her hand, and tried to remove it as nonchalant as possible.

"Mary!" Billy called from a few seats up

"Yes Billy" she turned her attention to him immediately, keeping her gaze completely away from Wilson.

But his eyes were fixed entirely on her. He loved the way she smiled, and how excited she looked just to hear Billy talking. He had missed out on Mary Camden, but he swore to himself he would find someone like her before he died.

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Later, Wilson and Mary followed their assigned group of children through the dark reptile house. The kids were scurrying from window to window, shrieking as they tapped on the glass. Mary would never admit it, but snakes and bugs totally gave her the creeps.

"You know how I said you owe me for this?" she asked him

"Yeah?" Wilson said, sitting down on a bench across from the piranha tank

Mary joined him, "well I just thought of something you can do for me"

He leaned back and spread his arm across the back of the bench, "and what would that be?"

She suddenly got nervous and turned away from him, "look, I know it's really short notice," she sighed and gave him her most desperate puppy face, "Carter's friend Matt, he had to have emergency knee surgery after he wrenched it in a softball game…anyway, he was supposed to be an usher, but he'll be on crutches, so he can't anymore and, um…"

"You were wondering if I could do it instead" he finished

"Yeah" she raised her eyebrows pathetically

Wilson just laughed, "of course I will"

Her face lit up and she couldn't help but throw her arms around him, "thank you so much Wilson"

He squeezed her tightly, "anytime Mare"

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Back on the bus, the exhausted kids held their souvenirs tightly while they excitedly told each other stories about all the things they had seen that day.

Billy turned around in his seat and raised himself to his knees, "hey dad! Remember when that monkey was swinging on that tire and then he fell off, but that other monkey came over to him and he stepped on his leg and the monkey jumped up and made those funny sounds, and then he chased the other monkey around the thing?"

Wilson smiled, "yes I do, now turn around and sit properly"

Billy frowned, a bit embarrassed to be scolded in front of his friends and sat in his seat the right way. Wilson let out a heavy sigh and looked over at his seat partner. Mary was on her cell phone, and she looked a little upset.

"so you double checked the box? They really aren't there?" she asked, "this is unbelievable, I'll call the shop." She rubbed her temple with her free hand, "oh, by the way, I got someone to take Matt's place…yeah, just an old friend. I think he'll fit in his tux no problem. Ok I'll talk to you later honey…I love you too, bye"

Without even looking up from the cell phone she quickly dialed another number.

She huffed loudly when she only got the answering machine, she put on her fakest smile and left a message, "hi this is Mary Camden, I ordered 200 wedding invitations, and they were delivered to my fiancé today. But the only thing that came in the box were the envelopes, the wedding is in twelve days and I need this corrected as soon as possible, thank you"

She tossed the phone into her bag and slumped down into the seat.

"Wedding trouble?" Wilson asked, obviously knowing the answer of the question

"Yeah, tons of it" Mary had her arm draped over her eyes

Wilson gently removed her hand and comfortingly wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "listen, it seems to me like you could use a break. You got any free time before the wedding?"

She thought a minute, trying to recall her entire crazy schedule, "lets see today is Tuesday, the wedding is next Sunday…um, I'm not doing anything Wednesday, not tomorrow, but the next one."

"Well how about, you come over to my house, we'll have a glass or two of wine, and play monopoly with Billy"

She laughed

"No, I'm serious, you need to have some relaxing fun" he cajoled

"Ok," she said, patting his arm, "it's a date"

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hooray! We're getting somewhere!

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Review please!


	10. Somewhere There’s Speaking

A/N: it's been awhile…terribly sorry. I hate how life just gets in the way all the time

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The old wooden desk creaked as the Reverend Eric Camden shifted his glasses on his nose and stared at the paper in front of him.

He looked up at the couple across the desk from him. The man, smiling proudly and confidently, and the woman looking a little bit empty, looked like she wanted nothing more than to be anywhere else.

"Ok you two," he said in a chipper voice, setting his paper down and putting his worn Bible on top, "you've got four days…you ready?"

Mary didn't even get a chance to breathe before Carter squeezed her hand, "you bet"

The reverend beamed, "of course you are" he laughed and Carter joined him. Mary had wanted to die in every session of counseling before, and she could already tell this one wouldn't be any different.

He shifted his glasses again and glanced down, "just a few more things to cover…" his voice trailed off as he scanned the paper. Carter looked over at Mary and he winked.

"How will money be handled in the Beauman household?" Eric asked them

Carter smiled charmingly at Mary, "well, I have us completely covered as far as money goes. So if she wants to stay home with the kids, it wont even be an issue."

"_Who said anything about kids?"_ Mary thought

"And spending money?"

"What's mine is hers, if Mary wants it, she can have it." He kissed her temple, "anything for my girl"

Eric grinned, Mary wanted to puke. If any other person in the world had sat in his office and said those words, it would have turned into a thirty-minute discussion, but he was buying everything Carter fed him. And the saddest part of all was that Carter wasn't bs-ing just to make Eric happy, he meant every single pathetic word.

The reverend reached for his tie and cleared his throat, "now tell me about…sex. How do you view it in the context of your relationship?"

"Well, we simply can't wait," Carter patted Mary's knee. Now she could actually feel the bile rising in her throat. She had heard Carter say some far-fetched things before, but his immense audacity to even suggest to her father, a man of God, that the two of them were virgins was complete lunacy. "Mary and I both feel that sex is a very special part of a marriage, and a meaningful part at that. We both waited a very long time for the right person to come along."

Reverend Camden looked pleasantly surprised, he had obviously, and correctly, assumed that Mary had "lost her precious flower" a very long time ago.

After Eric had finished a few more simple questions Mary and Carter were walking hand in hand to their respective cars.

Then Mary turned to him, "why did you lie to my dad like that?"

He laughed, "come on Mary what did you want me to say, 'oh man Rev I gave it to your daughter so good last night'"

As bad as she wanted to argue with him, she couldn't help but laugh. Carter was definitely good at making Mary happy. Maybe it wasn't perfect happiness…but it was close enough.

After Mary had kissed Carter goodbye and headed toward Wilson, she noticed her cell phone ringing in the side pocket of her purse. She quickly grabbed it and looked at the flashing screen. She didn't recognize the number, but she answered it anyway.

"Hello" she answered in a friendly manner

"Hey Mary" the pack a day voice spoke, "long time no see"

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I sincerely apologize for this chapter…it blows I know. I'm just trying to get to the good stuff

Review and forgive me please


	11. Another Wound To Discover

After Mary had kissed Carter goodbye and headed toward Wilson's, she noticed her cell phone ringing in the side pocket of her purse. She quickly grabbed it and looked at the flashing screen. She didn't recognize the number, but she answered it anyway.

"Hello" she answered in a friendly manner

"Hey Mary" the pack a day voice spoke, "long time no see"

She leaned the phone against her ear and fumbled with her keys. "Who is this?" she asked in a friendly manner

She opened the car door and slid into the front seat, dropping her purse lazily on the floor.

"Oh please" he joked, "you know who this is"

The sinking feeling she'd had in her stomach since she saw the Buffalo area code flash on the screen started to steadily rise. She did in fact know who it was, and it was the last person she could have ever wanted to hear from.

She started her car and tightened her jaw, "what do you want?"

"What? I'm not allowed to call you? I just want to see how you are"

"I'm just fine" she sneered, "why did you really call?"

She turned the corner and the impending street seemed longer than ever.

He sighed, letting his bad-boy jerk tone fade, "I just want to know if it's a boy or a girl"

He just had to hit her where it hurts, "there isn't a baby" she whispered

"So you did make the whole thing up"

Mary gripped the wheel and fought harder against herself harder than she had in the past ten months, "no, I didn't" she choked

He understood, "why didn't you tell me"

The old Buffalo Mary came bursting out of her, "I tried to find you! No one knew where you went!" tears poured out of her eyes, the red light above her went blurry.

She didn't want this; she wasn't going to become that girl again. She shook her head hard, "no-no I'm not going to do this! I'm getting married on Saturday!"

"Mary-" he tried to reason with her

"Don't call me again" she closed the phone and held it in a tight fist.

As much as she had hated him before, she hated him even more now. He made her lose control, she had a decent grip on herself until the moment that phone rang.

She was surprised when she found herself sitting outside of Wilson's house, she'd completely forgot she was driving. She wiped her eyes and applied a little lip gloss she promised she wouldn't let it come up again. Nobody could ever know what she had done.

As she walked up the path she put on her bravest face, the wall had to go right back up. But of course, the moment Wilson opened the door he saw everything

"You alright?" he asked

She shook her head, "I'll be fine, just get me some wine please"

He smiled, a little worried, "sure, comin' right up"

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ahhh this chapter was so crap, but it just had to happen. Since I feel so awful I'm going to probably post the next chapter tonight or tomorrow…I feel I owe it to you

my soul could appreciate a review


	12. Under Skinned Knees

A/N: That last chapter was complete crap, I apologize sincerely. This is the chapter I've been waiting forever to write…so I hope it suits you. I know I said I would put this up tomorrow….like a week ago, but stupid spring break got in the way of me finishing, very sorry.

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Mary sat quietly on the couch while Billy set up the Monopoly Jr. board on the coffee table. Wilson emerged from the kitchen with two glasses of red wine in his hands and a juice box under his arm. He handed a glass to Mary and tossed the apple juice in Billy's direction.

"Mary, do you want to be blue, yellow, or green? I'm red" Billy asked

Wilson kneeled down on the other side of the coffee table. He looked at Mary and raised his eyebrows, begging her to tell him what was wrong.

She looked back, using only her eyes to tell him, _"I'm fine."_ She turned to Billy, "I think I'll be yellow"

"I want Green then please" Wilson said

"Mary, do you know how to play this game?" Billy inquired

She smiled, "I've played a few times in my day"

"Ok, so I go first since I'm the youngest, then Mary, then Dad" Billy announced

"Wait wait," Wilson said, "how do you know I'm oldest? Mary could be oldest!"

"But dad, you're like thirty!"

Mary laughed out loud, and hard. It was a really nice thing to have friends. On days like the one she was having, she was so grateful to have Wilson and Billy in her corner.

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At around ten that evening, after Billy was snoring in his bed, Mary and Wilson sat across from each other at the kitchen table, a bottle of wine between them.

Mary giggled sweetly at the story Wilson had told, they were both beginning to lose themselves a bit. Wilson lifted the bottle, "More wine Ms. Camden?"

"Yes please" she smiled

He tipped the bottle over her glass, and only a few drops fell. Wilson laughed and looked into the bottle, "looks like were out"

Mary felt her forehead, "I really don't feel like we drank that much"

Wilson jumped up from the table, "we didn't, it was already open." He reached into a high cabinet, returning with a new bottle. He went to a drawer for the bottle-opener, "so, what was wrong with you earlier?" he asked, twisting the complicated device

She remembered her day in a flash, "oh, nothing" she tried her best to play it off

"You and Carter have a fight?" he kept probing, knowing how well she could hide

She watched him carefully fill her glass, "maybe I'll tell you when I finish this glass"

"At the rate you're going now, you won't be able to speak then"

She took a long, slow drink, and all her inhibitions came out as the alcohol went down, "I did something very bad Wilson"

Wilson leaned back in his chair, "you're not capable of doing anything bad, you're practically perfect"

She shook her head, "no I'm not" the shaking made her dizzy, she took a pause to collect herself. "There was this guy in Buffalo. We lived together," she took a lazy sip, "but he was cheating on me, so I got this really stupid idea to stop taking my birth control."

"So you tried to get pregnant?" Wilson's brain wasn't working at its normal capacity

"I thought it would make him stay," Mary got suddenly quiet, all the pain flooded back, "but it didn't"

Wilson sat still, waiting for the rest of the story

"I didn't know what else to do," she mumbled, "so I had an abortion"

He gulped, and felt suddenly sober, "but Mary…how could you? If Billy's mother had-"

"Yes!" she shouted, "I know that. I didn't have another choice, I was all alone"

"I was alone too! But I managed didn't I?" he stood quickly

"Wilson I felt bad afterwards. Really really bad. I felt empty inside. I didn't get out of bed for days, I just cried. Then I got up to take a bath, I filled up the tub and decided that I just didn't want to live anymore." She took a drink and spoke matter-of-factly, "so I tried to drown myself. But my roommate came home, so I chickened out." She bit her lip in attempt to keep the tears that welled in her eyes from falling, "then I just came crawling home like a little child because I cant take care of myself….Wilson I'm a mess."

Wilson instinctively rushed to her side. He took her hand and lifted her out of her chair. Tears were now steadily falling from her eyes.

He held her face gently and wiped her tears with his thumbs. He pulled her into a tight hug and whispered into her hair, "It's ok, you don't have to worry about anything anymore."

Mary lifted her head and looked into his eyes, his deep, comforting eyes. A million feelings that had remained tucked away for years swiftly returned.

A force stronger than the both of them brought their faces closer and swept their lips into a deep kiss.

Mary clung to him with everything she had…he _was_ everything she had.

Without parting, they slowly made their way to the bedroom at the end of the hall.

The door shut leaving the rest of the world behind, and they made love like they were the only two people in it.

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Oh I bet you think everything is peachy now huh? But Mary is getting married soon…isn't she?

Review and the twists will just keep on coming


	13. He Means Nothing To you

A/N: augh, I know it's been like 6 months, I'm sure you all forgot I was even writing this… but senior year is really over and I can actually write again!

So, they got drunk and had sex…everything should be great right? Oh…you have no idea

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Mary opened her eyes slowly and took a deep breath, inhaling his scent on the pillow. The morning sun was barely peeking through the slatted blinds. As exhausted as she was, it didn't take her too long to realize that she was tangled in the sheets of a very empty bed. She sat up and looked around the room, he was nowhere to be found.

There was a large mirror hanging on the wall across the room. She caught a glance of herself, knotted in tan sheets, her hair tousled in a seductive manner. She pulled the covers away and looked at the naked woman across from her. She was radiant, and blissful.

She got up and strutted to Wilson's closet, feeling overwhelmingly confident, sexy, and free. She grabbed a white dress shirt and tossed it on, she buttoned the least amount of buttons possible.

Mary poked her head into the hallway and listened, no voices. She tiptoed out and toward the kitchen. She peeked outside and saw that Wilson's car was gone. Considering the time, he must've taken Billy to school. Mary wanted to have something special for him when he got back.

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Wilson parked sideways in the driveway; anxious to get inside to the beautiful women he left in his bed. As he sauntered up the driveway, whistling, he couldn't help but stop and think about his wonderful night. If was great for the obvious reasons of course, but he really had fallen for Mary over the past months. He hated that she was with someone else, but he just had to keep his mouth shut and be the friend that she needed. But now he had her, and everything was going to be fine.

When he entered the apartment he was hit with an overwhelming scent of breakfast. He dropped his keys on the table by the door, "Mary?" he called peeking his head into the kitchen. Mary turned away from the stove where she was making pancakes; she smiled widely, "good morning"

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Thanks for letting me sleep,"

"I just couldn't wake you," he said nuzzling her neck, "you looked too gorgeous sleeping"

She turned around, spatula in hand and threw her arms around his neck; she pulled him down to kiss her

He took a step back from her, "are you wearing my shirt?" he laughed

"Nothing but" she snickered, "what are you angry?"

"Oh not at all" he growled smoothly, raising his eyebrows at her

When she came in to kiss him he snatched the spatula out of her hand and whapped her behind.

"Hey!" she shrieked, leaping away from him, "that has to touch your breakfast!"

He giggled and kissed her cheek, handing her back the spatula

She started pushing him toward the living room, "you go sit down and relax and I'll take care of everything. Breakfast will be ready shortly. I want to treat you…for treating me so well last night"

Wilson settled in on the couch, feeling like the luckiest man in the world. There was a half-naked woman in his kitchen, making breakfast. He was almost positive that things don't get any better than that.

Mary did a silly little dance in front of the stove, humming a song she wasn't sure she'd ever heard before. She was truly happy; she'd forgotten what a nice feeling it was. She stirred the eggs around the pan; they sizzled and lightened to a soft shade of yellow.

She stared in a daze at them and realized that they were a very similar tint of the flowers in her bouquet. She snapped up remembering suddenly, "hey Wilson!" she called

"Yeah," he answered from the living room, perking up

"Your tux is in my trunk, remind me to have you try it on after breakfast."

He sat still a moment, making absolutely sure he'd heard her correctly, "my tux?"

She set the spatula down and walked toward the kitchen doorway, she leaned against the frame and stared straight at him, "what else were you planning on wearing on Saturday?

Wilson stood quickly and raised his eyebrows sternly, "to your wedding?" he took a few steps toward the bedroom, then turned to her shaking his head, "you are unbelievable" he walked quickly to his bedroom

Mary quickly went after him, "what?"

When she reached the room her blouse was being tossed forcefully in her direction. She picked it up off the floor and looked up at Wilson who was digging around under the bed.

He got to his knees, pulling her skirt out from under the nightstand, "get out."

Mary was taken aback, "excuse me?"

"Oh don't do this, don't pretend you're this clueless." When she didn't respond he rubbed his face anxiously in his hands, "what gives you the right to do this to me? Huh? You can't treat people like this Mary. I have feelings, I won't be your little plaything," he threw the skirt at her, "now get dressed and go home to your husband"

Mary twisted the fabric in her hand, "you don't understand"

"Oh I don't?" Wilson was so angry, Mary had never seen him this intense, "why don't you explain it to me then?"

Mary fumbled with the buttons on Wilson's shirt that seemed to be stuck on her, "I have to get married, I-I just couldn't do that to Carter." She removed the shirt quickly and tried to cover herself, suddenly ashamed

"But you can do it to me" Wilson stood still, staring straight into her eyes.

Mary quickly dressed herself, fighting back tears, trying her best to understand her actions. She grabbed her things and headed toward the door, "I'm sorry" she managed to whisper, "I lov-" she began

He opened the front door, cutting her off, "of course you do"

Wilson slammed the door behind her. He quickly noticed the smoke that was flooding into the living room. He ran into the kitchen and switched off the burner. He angrily threw Mary's burning breakfast into the sink. The flames quickly subsided to steam that rose and filled the empty kitchen.

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If you're still reading this…just review so I don't feel useless 


	14. You Don't Know Why

A/N: thanks for the reviews guys, I think I'm finally ready to get this story done, I know where I'm headed and it really feels nice

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Mary took a deep breath and turned to face the mirror that stood before her. The bride she met in her reflection was the ideal example of perfection. Her blonde hair was done up in the perfect amount of curls, pinned neatly at the back of her head. Her simple veil hung lightly over them. The white satin of her gown followed the curves of her body flawlessly. Someone could only dream of looking this way, but to Mary it all felt like a nightmare.

There was a knock on the door of the bridal suite, and Lucy poked her head into the room.

"You almost ready to go?" she asked in a chipper tone

Mary put on her happiest face and pushed aside any feelings she'd been pondering over the past few days, "you bet. How do I look?" she held her arms out to show off

Lucy stepped into the room, "Mare you look amazing!" she squealed. She ran forward as fast as her tight bridesmaid's gown would allow and threw her arms around her sister's neck. "I just can't believe you're getting married."

"Yeah, I know" she sighed

"Are you nervous?" Lucy asked concerned. Before Mary could answer Lucy pulled her down into one of the fancy armchairs and quickly plopped into the one next to it. "Being married is really the greatest thing I personally have experienced in life so far."

Mary nodded silently, knowing Lucy would just go on with her rant and then go away

"I mean when you wake up every morning and you see that man, the love of your life sleeping next to you and it's automatically a perfect day. And there will be times when you have little fights over things but you'll get through it, because you love each other. And I know that you and Carter love each other very much." Lucy placed her hand on Mary's knee and leaned in closer, "and I want you to tell me all about the wedding night when you get back ok?" she giggled

"It will be just like Monday night, I can tell you about it now" Mary thought

Lucy jumped up, "Ok come on, you have to get married!" She held out her hand for Mary to take

"Ok," Mary exhaled heavily, "here I go"

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The organs of the Glenoak Community Church switched from one tune to another and the big doors in the back opened. The people in the pews rose to their feet and turned to face the bride in the doorway.

Every single eye was on Mary as she took shaky steps forward nodding and smiling at people as she passed them in their fancy clothes and bright faces.

She finished her walk down the endless aisle and Carter smiled at her with kind eyes. He took her arm and they proceeded up the stairs to where her father was standing proudly. She turned to hand her bouquet to Lucy and then she saw him.

Wilson was standing in the back of the church, Billy beside him in his little collared shirt. Billy smiled and waved at Mary, she raised her hand and wiggled her fingers back at him. Wilson looked at her with an unreadable expression and slipped into one of the back pews with Billy following quickly behind him.

She turned back to her father and inevitably, the ceremony began

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today, to bring-"

Mary looked at Carter who was standing next to her, smiling. She thought about the life with Carter that stood before her.

"I have had the privilege of seeing these two grow together as a couple-"

A life of security, babies, happiness…

"Carter, do you take Mary, to have and to hold-"

But no love. There would be love but not the kind she needed…

"Wait" Mary cried suddenly over her father's words.

Carter looked over, concerned. The look on her father's face was a stern one, he was trying his best to hold in his anger.

"I just…" Mary began, she turned around, "this, isn't fair…I need to go"

And without another thought crossing her mind she picked up her dress and walked straight out the back doors. She never turned to see the looks on their faces; she didn't listen when they told her turn back.

For the first time in a long time, she was doing the right thing

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Review please! There's so very much more to come!


	15. Something More You Wish He'd Say

It was Thursday; Mary had been missing for six days.

Carter went to great lengths to find her and bring her back to him, but he gave up on the fourth day, realizing she really did want to get away.

The Camdens did absolutely nothing to discover Mary's whereabouts or to ask why she left. As far as they were concerned, when she walked out of that church, she walked out of that family. They had given her way too many second chances. This was Mary's mistake, and it had nothing to do with them.

Wilson didn't go after her either. He was still too angry with her. As far as he knew she came back on Sunday and she was working everything out with Carter. He just couldn't figure out how she had hurt him like that again, or how he'd let her. All the way to the church he hoped she wouldn't go through with it, but when he saw her face as she rushed back up the aisle and out the door, he felt guilty. In his deepest of hearts he knew that she had a better reason to leave the wedding than him or Carter, that reason was Mary.

Thursday afternoon Carter was sitting in his apartment surrounded by unopened wedding gifts. In the bedroom the right side of the closet was cleared out, waiting for Mary's things to fill the space. His suitcase was sitting by the front door, full of clothes to lounge around Monterey on their honeymoon in.

When there was a knock at the door around 3 in the afternoon, he didn't want to expect Mary. He was tired of getting his hopes up over nothing.

He walked begrudgingly to the door and opened it slowly. It took a moment for him to realize that the blonde with her eyes lowered on the porch was his fiancée.

"Mary, hi" was all he could get out

She didn't look up from the doormat, "can I come in?" she asked quietly

"Sure, sure" Carter mumbled. He couldn't decide if he was more shocked, happy, or angry to see her.

Mary sat in the armchair that faced the couch. Carter took an awkward seat and looked right at her.

After a few minutes of silence he finally spoke, "So where have you been all week?"

"I didn't know where else to go, I went up to Monterey and stayed in our honeymoon suite. I'll pay you back for everything"

"No, it's not a problem, I'm just glad to know you're alright"

Small talk continued for a few minutes, no ones voice went up more than a whisper and eye contact was avoided completely.

"Why?" Carter asked, raising his head

"Why what?"

"Why'd you leave?"

Mary had spent the whole drive back to Glenoak practicing her answer. She cleared her throat and raised her eyes to meet with his. "Carter, I'm sorry." She tried to finish the speech but it all escaped her when she saw how sad he looked. "I didn't want to hurt anybody, but I knew I would hurt you more if I went through with it."

"Are you saying you don't love me?"

"No, that's not it at all" But the truth was that Mary didn't know what it was. "I did love you, I mean I do."

She looked up and saw his face, intently watching her expressions, begging for answers.

Mary sighed heavily and did her best to just let everything flow out. "Carter, things with me just aren't right"

"Are you sick?" he blurted, "can I do anything"

Now she was angry, "see that's it, that right there, you never listen to what I have to say. You just have to make everything perfect. Well Carter I'm not perfect. I'm a preacher's daughter with a criminal record, an abusive relationship, and an abortion under my belt. Not to mention a suicide attempt and what I'm starting to think is manic depression. I can't be married right now because I don't even know what's going on inside me. I have a lot to figure out and I need to do it alone."

For a moment Carter was silent, trying to process all he had just heard. He had always had a picture of Mary in his head and this wasn't it. He had just always assumed she was everything she seemed to be. He suddenly felt extremely foolish

"Why didn't you ever tell me any of this?"

"Because you never asked"

Mary silently picked up her purse and walked toward the door. When she reached the knob he called out, "is there someone else?"

"Like I said, you never listen"

As she left the apartment and Carter behind for good, she thought about his question.

And there wasn't anybody else

At least not anymore.

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Oh man I have to apologize profusely to everyone for this chapter. It took me a month to write it because I hate it. I think it's the worst piece of crap that has every flowed from my keyboard.

I figured out why too…this was the first time we saw Carter as more than a one-dimensional character. He had thoughts and feelings and I guess that it just threw me off

Next chapter is the last, and hopefully it won't be so hard

Write me a crappy review so I can at least feel slightly vindicated


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